Lock Down Update Day 82 – 84

Day 82 – I am exhausted trying to decide on a new bed after weeks of looking online, my old one is probably over 30 years old so yes I need one, but making a decision is probably my weakest trait. I don’t understand how shopping excites, lifts and energises my friends, these mattresses are so confusing as with so many densities, materials, construction methods etc. Maybe the best thing would be to wait until I can get to the shops and try a few out, I feel it maybe be trial and error! I have now given up for today and will wait for my little confused mind to balance itself before looking again and making a decision.

These couple of interesting articles make way for interesting discussion, Los Angeles and Minneapolis councils are considering cutting funds to their police departments. Minneapolis wishes to spend the money on creating a society that works on solving the root problems that create crime. I guess I am one of those that believe in this concept and do have faith that it will work but probably not immediately. As always when the younger generation grows up with a new concept, things will change, it will be the norm growing with a support system behind them. Making the change with adult mindsets will perhaps take much longer so patience will be needed in the beginning, I know that many don’t have this faith that it will work but we will never know if we never try, things do need to change.

Day 83 – I discovered today that Bananas don’t grow on trees, they actually grow on herbs and are technically berries. Its trunk is made of layers of leaves forming a “false stem”, making it one of the largest “herbs” on the planet! I was happy to find this information and discover the site Return to Now which may give me many hours of reading through its archives. My mind got itself confused yesterday over a bed and the theme carries on today with interesting facts and news articles.

Why has a  hospital department been forced to suspend services after a doctor and nine immediate colleagues were told to isolate following a call from the newly-recruited Covid-19 contact tracers? The article doesn’t state whether the infected person was a member of staff, but the mind boggles as to the thought of Doctors and staff popping up on the automated system of an app leaving departments having to close. Note it is a hospital department not as the sensationalised headline states: a Hospital! I am sure this will be the first of many cases where a new contagion may have been in contact with a doctor.

This mind boggling article (for me) just doesn’t make sense, companies were awarded multi-million pound contracts to provide face masks, gowns and visors despite lacking experience in the field. A contract worth £108m to supply PPE for NHS staff was awarded to a small family pest control company PestFix, a firm of 16 staff with net assets of £18,000. Double Dragon International Ltd was also commissioned to supply medical and surgical face masks to the NHS, in a £2.15m contract despite being a wholesaler of coffee, tea, cocoa and spices! Again I am finding it difficult to understand, why didn’t the normal suppliers of the NHS take on this role? Are the people in charge of supplies just another private agency who do nothing but be the middle man (for a large fee of course) and hold no expertise on, or understanding on stock and safety supplies. The government had thousands of offers for the contracts and paid a call centre supplier £200,000 to clear a backlog of around 5,000 offers. It seems so many highly qualified people work in jobs not needing their level of qualifications or expertise, whilst jobs requiring expertise employ pen pushing middle men, traders and business men! Some times our world feels like its upside down, always overly complex in what should be simplicity and common sense. Oh dear its Sunday, a rest day and I am leaving as confused as ever, I need to balance my mind as I still have to make a decision on a bed!

Day 84 – Today I finally walked to the Port, but sadly it was to buy and send a bereavement card as one of my family passed over, not may I add from the virus. Luckily restrictions have lifted a little in UK so at least normal grieving can to some degree take place, the funeral will now allow I assume at least immediate family to attend but we will see. Of course it is always difficult when somebody passes, but these last few months however have left many in trauma or with mental difficulties as grieving has not been able to take its natural course. No physical contact or support between families, loved ones and friends has been allowed, not being able to visit hospitals to say goodbyes and of course funeral restrictions have all lead to a very difficult time for the grieving. Those that have lost loved ones have been left confused, un supported as well as devastated. Whilst not saying their goodbyes it makes their loss harder to simulate and accept, it may seem similar to wartime when families received a telegram to inform them of the loss. Some parents and loved ones would accept what happened but still hold on in the subconscious for a miracle that they were still alive as they hadn’t had a closure or said their goodbyes! I learnt this from some of my elderly clients over the years.

This was an emotional trip for me, standing choosing a sympathy card with glasses and a mask on, tears flowing as I accepted the reality, the always curt owners hustled me into a corner behind a computer as I asked if they had somewhere I could sit to write my words, which of course can never convey your thoughts or emotions. I felt their sense of sympathy mixed with annoyance as I heard them whispering to other clients that I didn’t have a cold I was crying, obviously they didn’t want others walking out fearing I was sick!

The good news for today is that we have entered phase 3 without having to wait another week, this puts us on track to near normality with far less restrictions and commercial centres opening. This means that I can now go for a walk whenever I choose, beaches and pools open still with restrictions and I can travel anywhere in Andalucia if I so choose to. So many will be pleased to be able to go visit loved ones finally, there is still however restrictions on travelling to other parts of the country.

I finally sat and totally enjoyed my long awaited scone and cream that I have craved whilst being in isolation, not because of it being a scone and cream but because I had missed out for so many years whilst others around me had enjoyed. I had decided to enjoy simple things now, no more missing out and to treat myself every now and again. Of course with this recent death in my family, it was a double reminder so I finally did it! This leaves me now with only one more thing to cross off my wish list from those early weeks locked away, to see my daughter!

Please stay safe and take precautions to protect yourself and loved ones including taking care of your mental health, enjoy some simple things in life when you can, these last months have taught us to enjoy the moment and not take anything for granted, who would have thought our freedoms would be taken away! 💜

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