CoronaVirus Lockdown

Growing Old – Lock Down Day 30

Today we have a slackening of restrictions regarding workers, some essential construction, office and factory workers are going back to work putting us back to where we started the first 2 weeks of Lock Down. Nothing else has changed regarding not being allowed outside to exercise, limited food shopping, strict 5 minute dog walking etc. but at least it is a turn towards the direction we are all looking for, giving a flicker of hope to many. We needed some good news as we woke to yet another day of gloomy skies and dense clouds, this really is not normal for the South of Spain, a month bar 2 days of clear skies! I see pictures from around the world showing clear skies now that pollution is clearing, but with this terrible oppressive weather we have had, it feels like it has just moved and accumulated above us!

It is interesting to see that in the UK they are reporting an increase in Domestic Violence cases, this of course was a worry for many societies. Strangely reports here in Spain state that this isn’t the case and that the figures are a pleasant surprise to the authorities, who had expected a large increase of cases having put emergency measures in place. This is close to the heart, and one that still weighs heavy on the heart when I think of others suffering. Before I left the abusive relationship I remember a few times that if I hadn’t been able get outside for a walk to disarm or diffuse the situation, I may not have been around to tell this tale. This running outside allowed time for my partner to either calm himself or to go out, usually to a bar where things would be forgotten especially if I was in bed when he got home, he would just sleep it off. Of course there are many different circumstances to domestic abuse but alcohol often plays a big part, which is why I guess many figures are rising in some countries, people can drink all day at home where normally they would be working and only be drinking for a portion of it.

Another circumstance some people are experiencing is being in Isolation with somebody who has Mental Health issues or suffering from Depression. This can also include people that have a lifetime of suppressed emotions to deal with, now with time on their hands these emotions are rising up and demanding to be faced. In these circumstances anybody living with such souls are having to deal and cope with their own emotions and reactions plus the unpredictable reactions or outbursts of those around them. They may feel isolated not only socially but within their own emotions and the reality they are living right now. It is hard to have the introspection that many are being afforded, or contemplate another way, they are living minute to minute with somebody else’s outbursts or negativity from which they cant escape. Many may be confused as to the meaning of isolation, they will be isolated in what they are dealing and coping with, feeling so alone, but also longing to be in true isolation where they are alone and by themselves, having the space and the opportunity to assess and work through their own emotions and feelings. The constant bombardment of others issues can sometimes feel suffocating and stops our own process, so when these people do have a quiet space, they are trying to just ground and calm themselves, living in survival mode.

Some households are experiencing an eruption of mixed emotions especially when they have been suppressed for many years. Some are taking on their own journey whilst gently sharing and supporting each other, going gently through it together. Unfortunately many others are experiencing irrational and unhealthy outbursts to which they are either in the firing line of, or throwing it out to those around them, creating a perpetual cycle of unhealed emotions.

With the rain beating down outside, I am feeling a deep sadness for all those people affected, whether in domestic abuse, mental illness or depression, not only for the sufferers but also for the people or family affected around them. I suspect when we do emerge from this, there will be many who have discovered that the relationship they are in, doesn’t work for them and move on. There will also be many that have formed a deeper connection to each other and those around them in isolation, finding strength and support in each other. Whatever our circumstance, these memory’s will last a lifetime, a time that is recalled and told to our grandchildren.

These thoughts expressed are all part of introspection, not hiding from our feelings, our reality or the reality of others. We can feel them, express them, own them and be with them, the only problem that can arise, is if we don’t let them go, and spend all our time focusing on them. For me right now its time to change the music (literally) and find my balanced state, all music can stir up emotions, either by the words used or the memories they hold. I am off to spend some time in silence, give thanks to the rain that is nourishing the land and to the many blessings in my life.

Please be kind to each other as all are facing difficult times and could be feeling fragile right now, stay safe and take precautions to protect yourself and loved ones including taking care of your mental health 💜

Please be kind to each other as all are feeling fragile during these times.

One reply on “Growing Old – Lock Down Day 30”

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