Growing Old – Lock Down Day 26

Here we are again in these thick dense clouds longing to be above them, yearning to take a trip up a mountain and to look out just as I started this New Year, in an open space basked in nature. Of course I am extremely blessed to look out onto vast open spaces from my windows, Eastwards onto the sea and to the West hills and a bay, with a knowing that I have what the majority of the world doesn’t, an incredible view. For all my years living here I have thought myself lucky, blessed and am truly thankful, but right now, I would give anything for a little garden to sit in and ground my myself in nature tending to plants, herbs or vegetables! I look out at the bay with its beach and remember sand between the toes and the cold sea water as I used to paddle along its edge even in winter. For now though, as I don’t actually create much rubbish giving a reason to go outside, I have decided to use smaller bags, this way I should be able to go outside to the bins if not daily then every few days!

This week I seem to have been drawn heavily into deep heart felt thoughts regarding equity (the quality of being fair or impartial), misleading statements as facts, contradicting news articles, greed and selfishness of some I see etc. I have always felt this way, and enjoyed long conversations with others allowing me to see things from different perspectives, but this week has felt intense. I am sure all of us are going through gnawing deep thoughts without distractions during these times. Considering I only check in on the news once a day to be aware of what is going on, I have found it hard to switch off from many issues and yearning for a world of transparency where truth is a virtue. It has helped my sanity by writing on here daily as sometimes the frustrations can eat away at us, focusing on more negative thoughts makes it difficult to keep a balanced state, and live from our heart with compassion and kindness etc. It is so easy to see how mental health issues develop from deep emotions and frustrations surrounding them as many outside influences effect us whether we agree/want them to or not.

Today though I was pleasantly surprised to read a couple of articles in the first minute of taking a look at news headlines, they were within my own feelings and a rare occurrence . The first was: Emily Maitlis has been praised for her “extraordinary” and “powerful” introduction to BBC’s Newsnight in which she slammed “misleading” language surrounding the coronavirus crisis. She began: “They tell us coronavirus is a great leveller. It’s not. It’s much, much harder if you’re poor. How do we stop it making social inequality even greater?” She went on to say “You do not survive the illness through fortitude and strength of character, whatever the Prime Minister’s colleagues will tell us,” it was a “myth” that character plays a part in how well a person can fight the coronavirus. Seeing what feels like truth or common sense to me in a mainstream news programme with so much public support for her, warms my heart, these issues are the same I have been writing about over the last days and were eating away at me too, just the confirmation that I am not alone is uplifting.

The next interesting headline article I saw was: Amsterdam to embrace ‘doughnut’ model to mend post-coronavirus economy the so-called doughnut model was devised by Raworth as a guide to what it means for countries, cities and people to thrive in balance with the planet, where everyone’s needs and that of the planet are being met. It ranges from food and clean water to a certain level of housing, sanitation, energy, education, healthcare, gender equality, income and political voice. I haven’t read Raworth’s 2017 bestselling book Doughnut Economics: Seven Ways to Think Like a 21st-Century Economist , so I cannot have an opinion as to its theory but at first sight it during Isolation.

Writing daily expressing feelings has been liberating, although I know most wont be read in this huge world of cyber blogs, it still helps to clarify thoughts and put them out there, it feels more like my own little secret diary. In real life too most of the people I have met don’t want to look at these issues and just wanted to plod on in their own secure little worlds, so I have for the most part kept feelings to myself to survive. This has led to an underlying feeling of isolation even when interacting fully in society, I have watched the generations below me become forefront into these thoughts and ideas with has given hope and faith that maybe we can change our systems. Many have fallen into mental health issues along the way too, sensitive souls who see and feel all the suffering around, like the saying goes “A mother can only be as happy as her unhappiest child” this is often true, can’t the same apply to society as a whole? as we see in our sick planet and society with so many depressed, angry and frustrated.

The positivity within this period of World Isolation where people are affording the space for introspection is rising, people listening to their own song, seeing past news contradictions not knowing what to believe and the past celebrity culture, it is heartening to see many looking inside where we find universal truths with conscience. Of course we all have bad days where we get frustrated but the more stories we see of the need for change or the ground level acts of compassion, generosity and kindness that is happening, the more our spirits can rise with joy and hope. It may be a long trek ahead but at least we will have started the journey.

To finish I leave by wishing you peace in your heart and love for all the goodness that is emerging in society, stay safe and take precautions to protect yourself and loved ones including taking care of your mental health 💜